The Team
Our rescue bunnies
Frostie
Forage Quality Control Specialist
Department: Food & Forage
Bonded with: Dolly
About:
Frostie takes his role extremely seriously. Every batch is rigorously inspected, sampled and… re-sampled, just to be sure. Nothing leaves quality control without his full approval.
Key Skills:
Forage tasting, ingredient selection, rapid consumption
Performance Review:
⭐ Exceeds expectations in tasting volume
⚠️ Occasionally consumes entire stock before approval process is complete
📈 Recommendation: Introduce “sharing” training (unlikely to succeed)
Dolly
Floor Coverage Strategist
Department: Facilities
Bonded with: Frostie
About:
Dolly ensures every inch of floor space receives equal hay distribution. Precision is not her goal. Coverage is.
Key Skills:
Hay scattering, spatial expansion
Performance Review:
⭐ Achieves consistent 100% floor coverage
⚠️ Ignores designated hay zones completely
📈 Recommendation: Accept fate
Bounty
Zoomies Performance Director
Department: Athletics
Bonded with: Pudding & Kinder
About:
Bounty leads high-speed demonstrations of agility, often without warning. Performance peaks at the exact moment you sit down.
Key Skills:
Speed, unpredictability, dramatic turns
Performance Review:
⭐ Outstanding energy output
⚠️ Scheduling remains chaotic
📈 Recommendation: Install seatbelt for spectators
Pudding
Lead Herbivore Acquisition Manager
Department: Food Strategy
Bonded with: Kinder & Bounty
About:
Pudding ensures a steady supply of greens, whether provided or not. Opportunistic, efficient, unstoppable.
Key Skills:
Food sourcing, acquisition, persistence
Performance Review:
⭐ Excellent supply chain reliability
⚠️ Sources inventory without authorisation
📈 Recommendation: Increase official rations (or hide everything)
Kinder
Cost-Benefit Chewculator
Department: Finance
Bonded with: Pudding & Bounty
About:
Kinder carefully evaluates whether chewing an item is worth the consequences. The answer is almost always yes.
Key Skills:
Risk assessment, strategic chewing
Performance Review:
⭐ Strong decision-making consistency
⚠️ Risk tolerance set extremely high
📈 Recommendation: Recalibrate “bad idea” threshold
Haribo
Shadow Movement Analyst
Department: Security
Bonded with: Bonbon
About:
Haribo monitors all suspicious movements, including shadows, reflections and absolutely nothing at all.
Key Skills:
Alertness, sudden panic, rapid retreats
Performance Review:
⭐ Highly responsive to potential threats
⚠️ Threats are often imaginary
📈 Recommendation: Confidence training (gentle encouragement & snacks)
Bonbon
Chief Thump Officer (CTO)
Department: Communications
Bonded with: Haribo
About:
Bonbon communicates critical updates via thumps. Volume and frequency increase based on urgency (or opinion).
Key Skills:
Thumping, dramatic expression, authority
Performance Review:
⭐ Clear and immediate communication style
⚠️ Overuse of emergency alerts
📈 Recommendation: Introduce “indoor voice” policy
Truffle
Head of Treat Negotiations
Department: Finance & Bribery
Bonded with: Olive & Parsnip
About:
A master dealmaker. Truffle has never accepted the first offer and will hold eye contact until better terms are presented.
Key Skills:
Negotiation, persistence, emotional manipulation
Performance Review:
⭐ Consistently secures above-market treat rates
⚠️ Refuses to acknowledge budget constraints
📈 Recommendation: None. He is the budget.
Parsnip
Employee Morale Supervisor
Department: HR
Bonded with: Olive & Truffle
About:
Parsnip ensures all staff provide adequate attention. If morale drops, she will personally intervene.
Key Skills:
Demanding fuss, boosting engagement, supervision
Performance Review:
⭐ Strong impact on human happiness metrics
⚠️ Requires constant attention to maintain morale
📈 Recommendation: Increase cuddle quotas
Olive
Luxury Lounging Specialist
Department: Lifestyle
Bonded with: Truffle & Parsnip
About:
Olive is dedicated to comfort optimisation. If there is a soft spot, she will find it and claim it.
Key Skills:
Relaxation, space claiming, elegant loafing
Performance Review:
⭐ Exceptional lounging standards
⚠️ Productivity inversely proportional to comfort
📈 Recommendation: Provide additional cushions
Twiglet
Cable Risk Assessment Officer
Department: Engineering & Destruction
About:
If there’s a wire, Twiglet will find it. If Twiglet finds it, it will be tested. Thoroughly.
Key Skills:
Hazard identification, rapid response chewing
Performance Review:
⭐ Exceptional identification of “high-risk” cables
⚠️ Creates risks during testing phase
📈 Recommendation: Increase decoy cable supply
Our Rainbow Bunnies
Blackberry
2016 - 2024
Crumble
2015 - 2023
Buttons
2021 - 2025
